Legend of the 3 wolves

 

 

Legend of the 3 wolves

 

On behalf of the human race I am about to reveal the greatest thing to happen to hillbillies, rednecks and trailer trash ever since nascar and mullets. It’s a little known secret in this small community that if revealed could alter our universe as we know it.

It a little thing called……3 wolves t-shirt.

To start I enclosed a few first hand accounts of buyers who have purchased this incredible wonder of the world t-shit online.

 

-By B. Govern "Bee-Dot-Govern"This review is from: The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee (Apparel)

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-Mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women

Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.-

-By Frank "The Frank" (Mount Ayr, Iowa) - The effect that this t-shirt has on women is pretty impressive. Unfortunately its natural healing powers reversed my vasectomy and I impregnated nine women in two weeks before I realized. They all had twin boys. Now I have 18 sons and spend most of my money on child support and condoms.-

-By J. Gossmann (Edmonton, AB Canada) -

(REAL NAME)    I used to keep my fanny pack stuffed with the usual survival gear: knives, nunchucks, etc. Now that I have this t-shirt, it's full of women's phone numbers! The secret is that this shirt imbues you with the musk of three wolves. Women are powerless to resist that! An added side effect is that the hair on the back of your head will grow 3X faster than the hair on top. This will give you that "predator" look every man desires! Now when I shotgun a six pack I don't just feel invincible, I know it's true..-.

These are real eye witness accounts. I know you think hillbilly’s only care about nascar, their awesome mullets and finding big foot but their ability to not give a shit and shop in Wal-Mart has maybe thrown this universe for a loop. I feel that it is my duty as a blog writer (that no one subscribes to) to reveal such a secret.

 It was said that a long, long, long and a little bit longer time ago..... one evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. “One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. “The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.” The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” This is when the boy said he would create a new wolf.  A wolf that he wouldn’t have to feed but put in the middle of both the wolves to absorb a little of both evil and good. That is the third wolf. When worn together the power is unstoppable. On a full moon the power is enhanced.

Time had passed and lets face it only hillbilly people loved their wolves on shirts. First one wolf then two and with the third the legend was awaken and all the magic of the wolf.

This is the legion of the 3 wolf t-shirt

 

Pictured is the shirt doing it's magic. (My sister and her wolf)