Why does weird shit happened to me?

Why does weird shit happened to me?

So it’s like any other Friday night when my husband is not home. I stay up late doing random things. This Friday night I am watching “I love Lucy” and painting my nails an obnoxious shade of blue. Laughing from time to time glancing at the TV but also concentrating on my toes and the small almost not there pinkie toe. It’s almost 12:30 am and I’m rather enjoying my little night to myself.

 All of a sudden out of the blue I hear a noise. Just a little noise. Maybe the wind blowing at the door a little or someone walking up stairs I can’t really tell but I notice I am more acute to all the little noises when my husband is away. You never know. So I ignore the noise and keep on painting my toes. I live in an apartment building so this noise could honestly being a number of things. I prop my feet up on the pillow and enjoy some banter back and forth from Ricky to Lucy when I hear the noise again. This time I mute the TV to better pinpoint where it’s coming from. As soon as I push mute it goes away. I turn the show back on and a few minutes after the noise starts. I mush mute to hear where it’s coming from and it stops. I leave the TV on and head into the kitchen to look around outside the windows and to try to see if I hear it anywhere else in the house. It’s definitely somewhere above or below me in the apartment complex around my bedroom area. I notice it’s starting to rain now. I grab a glass of water and tell myself it’s just the howling from the wind.

I lay into bed and turn the TV down a bit but just enough so I can still hear the program but still listen for the noise. I hear it again but this time it’s more of a whimper. I look out my window and realize I had left it open. The rain is really coming down at this point and I figure I should shut the window turn up the TV and enjoy the rest of my night. When I go to close the window I hear it again. It’s loader and it seems to be coming from outside. I look and it’s dark and with all the rain I can’t see anything. I strain my eyes and the noise gets very load. Its sounds like a cat. The way a cat will wine when it’s scared or panicked. That’s the way it sounded. It kept squealing and in my head I imagined it being a poor small kitten alone outside in the rain and dark with its big kitty eyes trapped somewhere and being eaten by a coyote. Poor defenseless kitten. I sat back down for a moment and even though I have 2 dogs and no place to put a cat I couldn’t just leave it there in the rain to die a slow and painful death being ripped apart by a coyote.  I can still hear it at this point. The whimper is getting louder. “FINE” I say to myself. I’ll keep it inside for one night and at least it will be out of the rain and figure out what I will do with it for tomorrow. I grab my husbands oversized jacket and thought it would be long enough seeing as I just had a night shirt on. It would do to just run and grab cat and go inside.

I put the hood on and some flip flops  grab a flash light and head outside. It’s really raining at this point but I can pinpoint where the noise is coming from. I follow the noise and it’s coming almost right under my bedroom window to the left. I approach slow not really knowing if it’s a cat or what and why it would be screaming. As I near the corner I close my eyes a bit not knowing what I would find. I look and slowly open my eyes and what I find is not some poor or defenseless kitty. It’s not even an animal. What I find right under my bedroom window made me scream “OH MY GOD” It was a man. A man bending over a women with her skirt up and his pants right down his ankles. Her shoved up against the wall and them doing the nasty RIGHT under my window. It was not a poor defenseless kitty but sex. I realize I’m standing there in a nightshirt and how this must look. I didn’t know what to do. I screamed “OMIGOD, OMIGOD, Sorry I thought you were a cat” and I turn on my heal to go and I drop my flashlight. I don’t know why but in all panic I bent over to pick it up. At this point the girl pulls down her skirt and she said…”how embarrassing” and runs off to the other side of the apartments. I fumble trying to grab it and fall flat on my face in mud and water. I look up and with a naked man and his manhood out staring me in the face I scream and decide to abandon my flashlight. He reaches his hand down to help me up and I think all I was screaming was “OMIGOD…EW, EW, EW no go away.” I get my footing and start to walk/run away. It’s raining and I look back and I can hear him say….”miss you dropped your flashlight” “Keep it!” I yell back. I run inside and into my room and rush to close the window when I hear them both laughing at what had just happened. “did you see her face?” and they walk away and I slam the window shut. I can’t believe I just walked into what I just saw all because I wanted to save a poor little kitten.

This is just case and point on why a 30 year old should NOT be living in an apartment but rather her own house with her own fenced in back yard with her stuff she won’t randomly see people doing it on. Ok yeah I know I live in a college town and this isn’t forever and I should be getting my house soon but I think to myself…..”well I hope there are no random kitty’s in trouble because believe you me the coyote will just have a nice meal because there is no way in hell I’m doing that again.” With the window closed and the “I love Lucy” marathon going strong I think it’s best I just jump in the shower. I laugh to myself a little because I would be the person to walk into a random situation like that. I get out of the shower and head to the door to triple check it’s locked and head to bed. In the morning I can laugh at this a little thinking well…..least this will make for a great story. I make some coffee and head out to the mail box to check the mail when I open the door look down and see the flashlight sitting at my door with a note that said…”Sorry”  Not only did that mean the person doing it outside my window lives in my apartment building  but also that they recognized me. I, with all the fuss didn’t have much time to see his face but now have the constant embarrassment  of probably bumping into him some day but not really knowing who it is. REALLY? 

I feel it’s been like this my whole life. I run into all sorts of uncomfortable situations. If I don’t run into it I’m the one making the uncomfortable situation.  How…. when the cable guy came I inadvertently asked him out on a date?  How you ask? Talking out of my ass, that’s how,  But I’ll save that one for another blog. I could write a book, if I think back long enough on situations like this. Random run ins with random people. When I share some of them…”omigod guess what happened to me last night” my family members respond with….”now what?”  and it’s followed up with, “Only you.”  Good thing with time I have learned to laugh at myself and my husband has a sense of humor. If he didn’t I would be in real trouble. “Hey hun. How was work? I asked out the cable guy today. Total misunderstanding.”  He looks at me and laugh’s. “How did you manage that one? ” But honestly…..why does this stupid weird shit happen to me?